Updated 10/13/07

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Hallelujah, my Hot Pockets are ready!

Skinny flavored drinks never really caught on.

So, increasing my phallus involves sewage and the Marines...

Fish contains fish?  Who knew?

This camera will self destruct in 5 seconds.

I need to shop at Omaha Steaks more often.

I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a cash advance today.

You'd think the lights and computer shutting off would clue you in.

First Katrina, now Mount St. Helens hits New Orleans?

Somehow this doesn't surprise me.

For when you're so strapped for cash you can't afford a real sign.

Oooo... Kay...

NOW they tell me....

All your heatsink are belong to us.

Steel this switch

You have no rights!

Your government in action!

Because rats love cheese pizza.

Mmmm...   Flavored meat item for dinner!  My favorite!

It's hard to know when to stop typing when spelling "bananana"

Used liquid nitrogen is much cheaper than new.

Obviously, the job of Easter Bunny does not pay well.

SkyNet is taking over!

So much for American quality....

I better get my 1/100th of a penny back!

The only way you can use this coupon is if you are going to see Back To The Future.

Some of those dwarves look like they have other things in store for Thumper....

And what's up with those two?

Yes, Chewing!

Watch Out!

Ricola Breath Mints AND Laxative!

If you are not a woman with vitamin E, do not use!

But how else is a baby going to get his butt as smooth as a... well....

Where do you want to go today?

Trust me, you don't want to see the ingredients list....

Um... Yeah.

Free Pony!
(Warning, large!)

No problem here!  ;-)

From the packaging for an X-Keys keyboard.

Spooge, the complete cleaning system!

The instructions read,
"Make 3 slow strokes down and back exiting the muzzle very slowly, so as not to splatter the Spooge™ out the muzzle."

Wow!  That's a great sale price!

They've been doing this for at least a decade.  Damn kerning!

In other words, the plumber is coming over.

One must wonder how this warning became necessary.